Date: 15 September
Location: The Stables at Como, a primly sweet cafe tucked behind the historical Como House.
So, the Twin — last seen wondering about the sagacity of her impulsive fling with a Swiss doctor she met on Tinder (lol all you like, then read on) — is off to New Calendonia for a romantic week with very same Swiss doctor. You stopped lolling.
Yes, spring is blooming. Tulips are unfurling in the gardens, tight green leaves are budding open, hemlines are pushing up, tights are peeling off. The heady pollen is making everyone dizzy.
Bunky and her Powerjam are emerging from their cozy winter hibernation. They’re in that sickly sweet honeymoon phase, equal parts grotesque and adorable, where they’re all but incapable of being physically separated from one another for more than 24 hours. I’ve never seen her life this and I feel a mixture of pride, envy (2/7 of the deadly sins — oh dear) and biologist-esque curiosity.
Longterm loved-up Lady Lovelylocks and her mate are living at her parents’ house in trendy North Fitzroy for now but when her wayward parents return the couple will have to move. Early signs point to them moving in along with her brother and sister. Cameras should be installed and Channel 10 may have its next reality show.
The couple that house-sat while I was abroad (‘Jim’ and ‘Dawn’) have finally moved in together. I’m stubbornly claiming a microscopic sliver of responsibility for helping that happen. Their place is the typical, cute little 70s apartment block coze, replete with quilts and timeless Ikea pieces, and complete with embrassing graduation photos, obligatory couple photos and a disjointed library of His and Hers DVDs. Predictably (and, Lord knows, mercifully) she’s taken over. While sprawled on his new couch this Saturday night (and with Dawn well out of hearing), Jim proudly announced that he was ‘king of this castle’. And then admitted — to much happy snickering — that he’d had precious little to do with choosing the couch, or the table… or anything really. I think it’s pretty clear to everyone who’s really reigning over that castle.
Even my divorcé father has moved in with his girlfriend, and is looking to buy a new nest — at long last, for the house he currently inhibits feels more subterranean den than home.
And, as it does annually, The Hunt has planted the seed of a new romance and one of our loveable men friends (Blue Team) had his first date with a vivacious friend of a friend (Red Team). Art gallery followed by drinks. Very suave. I’ll keep you updated on Project Purple.
I feel like David Attenborough narrating Spring in the Urban Jungle: 3D.